Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Aaaaghhhh. I have NONE. Self control that is. I am addicted to sweets (candy, confectionery whatever you want to call it...), chocolate, cakes, savoury stuff etc. etc (I even adore sprouts and cabbage). Totally and utterly.
Actually I am in a bit of quandary about it all. Before I got married, I lost quite a lot of weight. I was never fat but I felt like I wanted to lose a few pounds before The Big Day and I did. Actually I lost a lot because I exercised (at the gym) and I exercised self-control. It was fun going clothes shopping and realising a size 10 (that's size 6 for my US readers) was slightly too loose because, quite frankly, I have never been skinny. It's not in my genes. (Therefore skinny jeans (get it?!) are a complete no-no for me.)
However it was never going to last (my skinny-ish phase) because I enjoy cooking, eating and baking. I am not a glutton but I like butter on my bread, cream and jam on my scones, lots of gravy on my potatoes. I also suspected during my not-eating-much phase that I was becoming obsessive and slightly irritating. (I fear may well have been irritable too... Moi? Never!). My dear husband recalls that shortly before The Big Day I told him I couldn't wait to go on honeymoon because.... I couldn't wait to eat again! The poor guy! He waits years and years and years and then his beloved says she's sees him as her one way ticket to pancakes and cappuccinos!
Anyway I know I have put on weight since I got married but, hey, I am contented and, as you have realised, I do like to eat. However since about February I have started snacking again between meals! Disaster! At lunchtime, I am wise and restrained and eat sensible things. And then I go and buy some sweets. My motives are not always good. I buy them and give them to my room mare to share... but then I eat most of them.... So now I am having panic stations and think I am becoming obese.
Part of this post is slightly tongue in cheek and I am also poking fun at myself. However a little bit of what I write is serious. I do honestly know that I am fit and healthy but there is this voice inside which makes me compare myself to people on TV and in magazines who appear (in their air-brushed way) to attain the world's ideal of "perfect" and then I feel miserable about myself which is just plain wrong. I know it is! But doesn't it just go to show how manipulative the media is (and how silly females, in particular, can be...)?
Must go. I made some chocolate biscuits last night so I need to finish up at work so I can get home soon to sample them!